What We Are (and Aren't)
A constantly evolving (and hopefully enlightening) list of our inadequacies and intentions, laid bare
- Things aren’t always what they seem.
- Intentions aren’t always pure.
- Vulnerability often begets pain.
- Skepticism often pays off.
Here’s why I bring this up.
When Suzie and I started experiencing the thoughts and feelings that would eventually lead us to create Presenthood, doubts, skepticism and inadequacies would often pop up.
Probably mostly for me.
But that’s normal. So in the interest of transparency and [hopefully] mutual growth, I’m going to list out many of the questions that you might be asking when you arrive at Presenthood and click around. We’ll then do our best to address each the best we know how.
It might be my own anxieties. You’re probably much more positive and optimistic than I am.
But if not, just know we’re in the same boat. I hope our answers provide some value to you, and allow you to make your own informed decisions about how to use your time, money and emotions in a way that’s most beneficial to you and yours.
Who are you?
We’re Coy and Suzie. That means a lot to us, but probably not that much to you. There’s nothing too out-of-the-ordinary about us, except that I’m well above average in height and Suzie is well above average in every positive category besides spousal selection.If you’d like to learn more about what led us to launch this site, check out our story.
Are you experts?
Absolutely not. Neither of us have studied human development or psychology, medicine or cognitive behavioral therapy in any formal capacity. You definitely should not think, feel or buy anything just because we told you to.We are, however, extremely interested in this stuff. We read what we can and share what we think might help you. We ask hard questions of our own lives and of the society and age in which we live.
We’re confronted with the intricacies of these topics on a daily basis, and that lends itself to experiences and — just as often — failures.
Why should we listen to you?
See above.And if you choose not to listen to us, just know that we often don’t listen to each other, either. Our kids certainly don’t always listen to us. You’re in good company.
So hopefully, if we say something you don’t agree with, you’ll brush it off and keep reading. You might find one or two non-rubbish things in there.
What do you have against technology?
Nothing. And everything, I guess. I don’t know, that’s probably the wrong question. We don’t think there’s anything intrinsically wrong with technology. If we did, we’d be sitting hungry and cold in a cave. And that sounds pretty miserable.Our perspective is that, while technology exists to serve us, it can easily start to control us. In fact, much of it is designed to control us, and in ways that often stand in direct contrast to what we would hope for ourselves.
Use none of it or use all of it — that’s up to you. But be deliberate about identifying what you want out of the relationship and then do that.
Wait, are you selling stuff?
Short answer: Usually no, sometimes yes.[Probably too] Long answer: We absolutely did not start this to make money, and certainly not to get rich. If that was our primary goal, we’d have chosen something completely different. IDK, supplements or timeshares or stuff like that.
Most of what we plan to do here is based in education, community and empowerment. We also have some ideas for products or services that supplement those goals. As much as we would love to give these [at present hypothetical] items away for free, that’s not feasible. I guess as soon as we become grotesquely rich off of our other unrelated ideas, we can revisit that idea.
Here’s our promise: We have no interest in selling you more “stuff,” just for the sake of making money — especially under the pretense of trying to help you connect more meaningfully with your loved ones. We’re always running ideas by friends, family and strangers. Inasmuch as we get the impression that these ideas would be useful to people, and align with our mission and values, we’ll try and go for it.
Usually, we’ll also share other ideas for how you could do it yourself for cheaper (or free).
Isn’t it counterproductive to campaign against social media on social media?
Excellent question. We don’t have the answer to that. It’s a topic we have discussed, currently discuss and likely will discuss continually and extensively.The truth is, social media can be a powerful source for positive things — there’s no denying that. We also know how easy it is to get sucked into a spiral, just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. And before you know it, it’s been an hour, your neck hurts and the food you put on the stove to heat up is burnt to a crisp.
We get it. We’ve been there. Our goal, by having a presence on social media, is to provide an alternative. A subtle wake-up call. Friendly reminders, affirmations, statistics, quotes and overall good vibes — all to help shine some light, offer some context and hopefully help people (and ourselves) break habits, uncover addictions and reset priorities.
Doesn’t this take time away from your family?
We try really hard to not let it. In fact, this is the issue that we’ve discussed most — not letting Presenthood, our brand, interfere with presenthood, our goal.Some days are better than others, but we do our best to keep things separate. We do a lot of work after hours, when our kids are asleep, and use scheduling apps to post at a later time for maximum visibility.
Some things we have to do during daylight hours. And yes, we occasionally find ourselves distracted and ignoring our children — caught up in the craziness of it all. But the purpose of all of this is to understand and acknowledge that there’s a better way, and that by being deliberate about technology use, our strongest relationships, as well as our own ambitions, will be made stronger.